It's been precisely four years since my last article on life hacks and boy has the time flown quicker than Kojak's appointment down at his local hair salon. Where do we start? Well, I shan't bore you with absolutely all the dirty details as I'll leave that particular confession for my good old buddy the Grim Reaper. His backhand's coming on wonders don't you know...
The best place to start would be my YouTube channel which really began to takeoff in 2017. Every week I would churn out one educational video after another to a rather rambunctious audience I must say. Times were good! The money was flowing like a pint of Guinness down an Irishman's neck and as many people as the entire population of Germany collectively watched my videos. I felt like Gordon Gekko on a full stash of Colombia's purest. "Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good". However, a rather dark cloud came floating along over the horizon...
YouTube completely demonetised my channel and stopped most of my 190,000 plus subscribers from receiving notifications every time I posted a new video. They tried to call my content "too derivative" whilst continuing to monetise big channels just like mine because they made YouTube some serious paper. Money is above the law it seems. The concepts of "Fair Use", "Public Domain" and "Creative Commons" were redundant when I dealt with their rather smug and abusive support team. Legally speaking I was well into the black. The cause of this you ask? YouTube's brand new monetisation policies which had greedily crushed millions of other people's livelihoods. Well done YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, this is a fine way to reward the people who effectively built your site for you earning your company billions in the process. Just make sure you give that knife a good twist after you've placed it into someones back in future.
So ScrewTube is now as dead as disco and my website comes very much first in future. And what a dystopian future that may be... Late last year the world was hit by a devastating virus mercilessly killing all in it's wake. The Coronavirus is a Panzer Tank. Brutally bulldozing over anything in it's path and coldly dispatching those with a glimpse of survival with the precision of an SAS sniper. At the time of this writing more than 500,000 poor souls have perished worldwide to this fierce enemy of humanity. Lockdown has ensured that the free way of life that we once cherished has been regimentally trampled upon by our respective governments in the name of damage limitation.
Despite all of this though, one thought keeps circulating around in my mind. Will things ever be the same? The answer according to our Nazi fisted governments is a resounding no. NWO conspiracy theorists will sense a scintillating glory here I am positive but we must glue our eyes to to the cold hard facts. We now live in a world where a psychopathic killer has been set loose and is unleashing it's fury upon innocent victims cruelly transcending the withering prospect of compassion in it's bloodthirsty plight. STAY SAFE LEGIONARIES.
But now for some light relief... a stubborn combatant in the face of this pesky "virus". A man so entrenched in his beliefs that he is ready to issue the World Health Organisation with his famous TV catchphrase "Your Fired!" I'm talking about Donald Trump who gladly swims against the tide of renowned world opinion like a shark through a shoal of Piranhas. Love him... Hate him... this man is pure box office entertainment.
Yep, this Wigga's got an even bigger hard-on for conspiracy theorists than Adolf Hitler in a heathen whore house. Just a quick perusal of his Twitter account will leave you wondering whether George Orwell wasn't quite as wrong as the media will have you believe. But, there are times when this bloated orange man child makes complete sense. He was right about the invasion of Iraq being a needless war and how the mainstream media bend and twist the truth for their own benefit. He may also be proved right about illegal immigration into the United States making the famous "Trump Wall" not look like such an ostentatious vanity project after all.
The point is like him or hate him he does occasionally hit the nail very firmly on the head. It's just all those other times that he should've exercised some worldly wisdom and perhaps bitten the bullet. You don't need to be "grabbed by the pussy" to reach that stark conclusion. But what of his competition... 795 year old Democrat Joe Biden who would make it compulsory for every American to wear a face mask in public to protect themselves from the Coronavirus. He also supports major gun control legislation and complete eradication of Capital Punishment. He seems to have some wise steadfast policies but I just get the slightest feeling that Trump is more the Devil you do know. But what do I care right? I'm English and we have our own political loon to endure...
Right, that's enough politics and my colourful past, let's concentrate on the future of GoldenTop10s.com. What can you expect? Maybe a life of torment in the cauldron of despair (HAHAHAHA!!!! Evil lung bursting laugh ensues....) or a safe haven for true originality to flourish. I'll let you make your own esteemed opinion on that one...
Each week my revered readers (or unsuspecting victims depending on which way you look at it) will receive an email notification called a "Triple Treat". What's this nonsense I hear you all exclaim!!! Well it's basically where I spam the ever loving shit out of your indecently aroused inbox :D I'm sorry but that's just the way I roll mofos.
Old Robert Redford would be proud! But seriously I will be sending a brand spanking new video, top 10 list and article every week. All of the finest quality and ensuring that you the reader will receive first class entertainment with the added luxury of gaining useful knowledge.
So there it is, GoldenTop10s.com laid bare and wagging it's giant like elephant trunk squarely in the face of political correctness. Now you've had my thoughts but what about you the reader? No I'm not talking about the thousands of enviously sexy people I have garnered through Twitter promotion to join this Webshite. I'm talking to you personally sitting at home right now!!! Yeah I see ya, with that Vodka on the rocks sitting to one side at 2 am in the morning... What are your views? Let me know in the comments section below. For now though, remember this, a quote from the profound philosopher himself, that steroid abusing part time philanthropist WWE wrestler Triple H when thinking of GoldenTop10s from now on; "I'm back, and I'm better than ever"
